I can't do this.
I think some people must be made for combat. I don't think I'm one of those people.
It's all too much. Guns roaring, bullets breaking up the ground around you. Explosions so loud you feel like your eardrums are going to burst and your teeth are going to shatter. And the screams. It's like nothing I've ever experienced.
I didn't fire a single shot in the entire fight. I froze up. Just stayed down. I was ready to play dead if need be. I'm not proud of that fact, but at the time it was all I could think to do. I'm no soldier. I don't know how to be a soldier. I'm just a financial auditor.
My hands are still trembling.
I don't wanna go back out there. I don't think I'll be coming back if I do.